Funny Texts to Send to Your Girlfriend

Everyone needs a partner at some point in their lives. And it's easy to find one when you are a natural wordsmith and flirting just rolls off your tongue (or your fingers) on its own. But what if you're not a poet and words just get jumbled together in your mind, when you open that girl's DM?

Fear not, 'cause we've got you covered. Now you have a list of a hundred flirty text messages you can pick from. Some are playful, some are romantic, some are funny, and some are dirty. We've got something for any kind of situation, and any kind of girl!

So what are you waiting for? Pick one of these flirty texts and send it to her right now! Maybe that's exactly what the two of you need.

Cute, Funny, And Witty Flirty Texts For Her

1. I'd love to see you only on days that end with "y".

2. You make things hard. I like that.

3. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

4. You remind me of my next girlfriend.

5. If you were a triangle you'd be acute one.

6. Talking to you is the favorite part of my day.

7. My friend wants to know if you think I'm hot.

8. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

9. I want to drown in your beautiful eyes tonight.

10. I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week.

11. I don't want anybody when I got your body.

12. I've got a new mattress and really need you to help me test it.

13. Do you prefer cuddling or kissing?

14. I'm not a professional photographer, but I can picture us together.

15. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'

16. I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I saw you.

17. You've got a lot of beautiful curves, but your smile is definitely my favorite.

18. Are you a magician? It's the strangest thing, but every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

19. If you were a song, you'd be the hottest single on Spotify.

20. I've had so many dirty thoughts about you today. Would you like to hear some of them?

21. You're my favorite distraction.

22. Are you free for the rest of your life?

23. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for.

24. Do you believe in love at first text, or should I text you again?

25. When God made you, he was seriously showing off.

26. I tried to send you something flirty, but I couldn't fit in the text box.

27. Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

28. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

29. If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.

30. Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me.

Next: 50 Great Compliments for Girls

Flirty Texts For When You Miss Her

31. Ain't no sunshine when you're gone.

32. I think I'm addicted to you, and I desperately need another dose.

33. Without you near me, I feel like my heart is on lockdown.

34. Can't wait to hear about all the things that go in your head.

35. I'm in bed and soooo cold. I need a cuddle buddy.

36. Counting the seconds till I see you again.

37. When was the last time we saw each other? Seems like too long ago!

38. My day gets brighter when I think of you.

39. I know we saw each other last night, but I already miss you.

40. I love the memories I have with you, it's time we made some more.

41. Every moment I'm not with you feels like an eternity.

42. I miss you like a Stormtrooper misses his targets.

43. I love hugging you, but I hate letting go.

44. A day spent without you is a day wasted.

45. I often find myself looking at the stars and wondering if you are looking at them too.

46. Right now I am homesick and my home is you.

47. I wish I was kissing you, instead of missing you.

48. I'm making a list of all the things I want to do with you. Please hurry back, I'm running out of space for storing paper.

49. You just walked out the door but I miss you already.

50. Just a little time without you and I'm already feeling lonely and lost.

51. I can't stop smiling, thinking about last night.

52. When I got home today I noticed something was missing. It was you.

53. I can't wait until the day I can wake up right next to you.

54. I can't even remember the last time we spoke. We need to change that.

55. My dog wanted you to know that he misses you.

Next: Flirty Knock Knock Jokes

Flirty Song Quotes For Texting Her

56. Let's remove the space between me and you. (Enrique Iglesias)

57. Hello, ma'am, would you be interested in some sexual positions and emotional investments? (Atmosphere)

58. There's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat. (Arctic Monkeys)

59. Your love is better than ice cream. (Sarah McLachlan)

60. When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while. (Bruno Mars)

61. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? (Bellamy Brothers)

62. I know you got a roommate, call me when there's no one there. (Drake)

63. You and me, we should be dancing in the sheets. (George Michael)

64. You're the key to my peace of mind. (Aretha Franklin)

65. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again. (The Cure)

66. Take me to your heart, for it's there that I belong. (Elvis Presley)

67. I'm all strung out, my heart is fried. I just can't get you off my mind. (Kesha)

68. I wish that every kiss was never-ending. (Beach Boys)

69. Something in the way you move attracts me like no other lover. (The Beatles)

70. I'll be your baby tonight. (Bob Dylan)

71. Intelligent too, ooh, you're my sweetheart. I've always liked my women book and street smart. (Drake)

72. Some people call it a one-night stand, but we can call it paradise. (Duran Duran)

73. I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is while you're in the world. (Elton John)

74. You're so contagious. I can't take it. Have my baby, let's just make it. (Jay-Z ft. Pharrell)

75. Anything you say can and will be held against you, so only say my name. (Fall Out Boy)

76. In my head, we're already together. (Justin Bieber)

77. I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers, I'd like to check you for ticks. (Brad Paisley)

78. At last…my love has come along. My lonely days are over. And life is like a song. (Etta James)

79. I miss the feeling of you missing me. (Drake)

80. Way, way down inside, I'm gonna give you every inch of my love. (Led Zeppelin)

Next: 200 Best Pick Up Lines

Flirty Movie Quotes For Texting Her

81. You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often. And by someone who knows how. (Gone With The Wind)

82. You make me want to be a better man. (As Good As It Gets)

83. Is that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding? (Casablanca)

84. How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense, it could conceivably change your political views? (The Sure Thing)

85. I think I'd miss you, even if we'd never met. (The Wedding Date)

86. When I leave you, I'm lost in a world of strangers. When I touch your hand, we're alone. (Anna Karenina)

87. There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

88. You're pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. (Me Before You)

89. You are the only thing in my life that is real. (Blue Is The Warmest Color)

90. You have bewitched me, body and soul. (Pride And Prejudice)

91. You've got great legs. What time do they open? (Halloween: Resurrection)

92. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. (The Fault In Our Stars)

93. I don't bite, you know… unless it's called for. (Charade)

94. It's like the whole universe existed just to bring us together. (Serendipity)

95. Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)

96. Later on tonight, we're going to fall madly in bed. (Imagine Me & You)

97. You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat. (No Strings Attached)

98. You're, like, the coolest person I've ever met and you don't even have to try. (Juno)

99. Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing. (Couples Retreat)

100. I hate to see you go, I love to watch you leave. (Face/Off)

More For You:

70 Cute Things to Say to Your Girlfriend // 55 Cute Names to Call Your Girlfriend // 30 Flirty Things to Say to a Girl

The Best 40 Dirty Jokes For Her // 55 Dirty Knock Knock Jokes // 100 Dirty Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend // 100 Dirty Pick Up Lines

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Roman Lagos

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